What the Fuck, Cosmo?

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• 2012-09-06

  

  “Ooh babe, you know what’d be hot? If we got on adjacent treadmills and ran like we were being chased by our dying love for each other.” He’ll never suspect a thing!

• 2012-09-05

  These NO outfits were featured for over-emphasizing these women’s hips.

  America: why make your women wear burqas when you can shame their entire bodies into a shape you deem acceptable? WE BUILT IT!

• 2012-09-04

  

  And if you’re lucky, the nation won’t be reminded of your momentary slip-ups months later when a magazine republishes them under the guise of helping people forget the times you make mistakes oh my god my brain is about to explode in a never-ending cycle of celebrity shame culture.

• 2012-09-03

  

  What’s the estrogen-oozing version of this room? A mikveh instead of the coffee table?

• 2012-03-25

  

  First of all: sex ed in this country, not old enough to read Cosmo, blah blah blah.

  Second: Didn’t I read somewhere that growers and showers aren’t real, and that penis size is just a trick blood plays on my tiny lady-brain?

• 2012-03-24

  Oh yeah, I remember this from algebra class. A + B = orgasm.

  JK, I know they don’t let girls take algebra. Right, Mom?

• 2012-03-23

  

  I’m not sure how he’s going to see anything with all the lights off in the dead of night, but OK, what does he want to “see” during sex?

• 2012-02-28

  

  He wasn’t dating you.

• 2012-02-27

  

  I would have just asked him to lick my clit, but you know, never speak unless you’re spoken to!

• 2012-02-26

  

  Looks like Cosmo’s Wordplay Director needs to lay off the How I Met Your Mother reruns…or maybe watch more. Either way, the gal seems confused.